Marine

by October Girl

Published December 26, 2007

In poetry/lyrics

This is about my brother and he's now in the Marines... so yeah.
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He was a boy who was your son.
Now he's a solider with a gun.
He loved to be around,
now he does push-ups on the ground.

He was a boy who might have cried,
now he holds his fear deep inside.
He always wanted to play guitar;
now he drives a tank instead of a car.

You wanted him to wear a helmet with his bike;
but it was loose and not right.
Now he makes sure it's bullet proof and tight.

His childhood is gone,
but your the one who taught him to be strong.

Comments & reviews · 1
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Trident
Review
Trident wrote a review Review · Dec 27, 2007

This is a nice poem to give to a family member. It's sort of sweet and I'm sure your brother would appreciate it if you were to give it to him.

I would cut down on some of the end rhyme. Play with the rhyme, really. The third and fourth stanzas are good examples of half-rhyme and I would try to experiment with that throughout the poem.



If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you; that is the principal difference between a dog and a man.
— Mark Twain